Little Red Riding Micronation
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: A Little Red Riding Hood Parody staring Sealand. Finally Complete!
1. The Red Hood

"Sealand, will you please take a break from the internet?" England asked from the kitchen.

"Just give me a minute," Sealand said watching time go down on the online auction on EBay. In less than a minute Sealand would be the proud owner of a mini fridge.

"Fine, I'll just get somebody else to do this favor for me," England called annoyed from the kitchen.

"You need a favor?" Sealand asked looking up from his computer. "As in you actually need my help?"

"That should be implied in what I just said," England stated.

"Will you recognize me if I do this favor for you?" Sealand asked as somebody in Puerto Rico raised the bid up a quarter.

"Of course not! One favor does not make you a country," England spat from the kitchen. "I just need this simple errand done. I can't do it myself because I'm currently cooking-"

"Awesome! I'll certainly get that errand done for you!" Sealand happily called out cutting England's rant off.

"This is _not_ going to make you a country," England stated as Sealand left his computer, no longer caring if that Puerto Rican guy won the mini fridge, to join his brother in the kitchen.

"I'll do a fine job on whatever errand it is you want done," Sealand said as he stood proudly in front of England.

"I need you to deliver this basket to that French frog." England gestured to the gift basket on the kitchen table.

"What's in it?" Sealand asked, picking it up. "Its awfully heavy whatever it is."

"That is none of your business," England said almost too quickly, giving Sealand the impression that his brother was hiding something.

"Oh?"

"You will delivery this basket unopened to France," England lectured.

"Yes sir," Sealand said using the hand not holding the basket to salute. "I won't let you down. I'll do such a good job that you will want to recognize me. You'll see. I'm going-"

"Yeah, whatever. Just get that basket delivered already," England said annoyed turning back to stirring his pot of something inedible looking.

"I won't let you down. You'll see," Sealand said opening the back door.

"Wait! Do you even know how to get to France's house from here?" England asked before Sealand could leave.

"I'm sure I'll be able to find my way. I do have my own compass," Sealand stated pulling out a compass from his pants pocket.

"I'll draw you map," England said abandoning stirring whatever it was he was trying to cook.

"That wouldn't be necessary. I'm sure that my trusty compass will show me how to get there. You don't have to waste time drawing me a map."

"I'm going to draw you a map. I don't want this delivery to be late because you got lost," England said opening a drawer next to the stove to get a paper and pencil.

"Well if you insist," Sealand said as England began drawing out a map on the kitchen counter.

"Now look here," England said pointing to the house he just drew. "This is where you are right now."

"Okay," Sealand said looking at the drawing as England labeled the house "The United Kingdom" to make the map clearer.

"Now this is the fastest path to France's house," England said, drawing a path.

"How do you know it's the fastest?"

"That's none of your business," England said almost too quickly, giving Sealand the impression that he had taken many trips on many different routes to France. "Now do you see the path I just drew?"

"Yes."

"On this path you're going to have to go through this part of the sea," England said drawing a sea onto the map.

"That looks easy. I'll just use my country to cross it!"

"After you cross that part of the sea you will need to go through a small part of woods," England said, resisting the urge to remind Sealand that he doesn't have a country.

"Yes sir."

"The woods aren't very big so just walk straight through," England stated drawing the woods onto the map.

"Right."

"After you get passed the woods there will be a small French village." England began drawing a few houses to represent the village.

"Okay."

"Don't talk to anybody in the village. They're all French and very obnoxious, so don't waste your time talking to them."

"Got it! Don't talk to French people."

"Once you past the village, follow this river until you see a tacky looking mansion," England said added a river onto the map.

"Tacky looking mansion?"

"France's house. You remember what it looks like right?"

"Yes, it's very tacky and showy looking."

"Good, now once you get to France's house give him the basket and come back here. Whatever you do don't go inside his house. Got it?" England said drawing another house onto the map.

"Yes sir," Sealand said as England labeled the house "Frog's house".

"Good, now take this map and come back as soon as possible." England handed Sealand the map. "Dinner should be ready when you get back."

"Yes sir," Sealand said folding the map and putting it in his pocket. "I'll be on my way now."

"Wait, before you go I want you to have something," England said stopping Sealand from walking out the door again.

"You want me to have something?" Sealand asked. England giving him a gift seemed very out of character for him.

"Yes, I would feel much better if you wore my old cloak," England said opening another drawer.

"Your old cloak?" This kind of kindness was definitely out of character for his brother.

"Here it is," England cheered pulling out a red cape from the drawer.

"Do you keep everything in this kitchen?"

"I used to wear this all the time when I was around your age," England said unfolding the cape and ignoring Sealand's question.

"You want me to wear that?"

"Yes, it's bright red so traffic will see you. And it will keep you warm if the weather decides to dramatically change," England said with his voice full of admiration as he handed the cape to Sealand.

"Wow, you never gave me something of yours before," Sealand said, eyes lighting up as he rubbed the cape between his fingers.

"Put it on," England ordered.

"What do you think?" Sealand asked turing around.

"Wow, it fits you perfectly. Now go deliver the basket and don't get into any trouble that I will have to clean up."

"Don't worry. Everything will go smoothly. I'll be back just in time for dinner," Sealand ensured as he opened the door to leave.

"You better be. I'm making a new kind of stew for dinner that uses a lot of fish and vinegar."

"See you when I get home," Sealand said as he walked out the back door.

**A/N**

**Well this is the first chapter of my "Little Red Riding Hood" based story. Its starring Sealand cause I thought he looked awesome in Paint it White. **

**Don't forget to review. I'll love to hear input on who the wolf should be. **

**E/N**

**Carm: I started another parody. I sent ya the first chapter**

**Me: Mk**

**Carm: I'm decorated for Christmas**

**Me: Are you? Do you have bulbs on your head and garland around your neck?**

**Carm: Are you watching me?**

**Me: O.o**

**Dear readers, **

**Never assume someone means decorating for Christmas**

**Sincerely, **

**Kaoru**


	2. Across The Sea

"Hello friend," Sealand said cheerfully to the random seagull that just landed on the railing of his country. "Would you like me to tell you why I'm so happy?"

"Squawk!" said the seagull not caring if Sealand said anything. The gull just wanted bread from Sealand.

"Well I'm so happy because that British jerk of jerks is about to finally accept me for the country I am," Sealand explained to the bird.

"Squawk!" said the seagull.

"I probably shouldn't call him the British jerk of jerks anymore. It would be rude to call him that if he accepts me as a country. I don't know. Can I still call England the British jerk of jerks?" Sealand asked the bird.

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" said the seagull. The gull wanted food and Sealand wasn't getting the message.

"Yeah, it probably would be rude for me to call England the British jerk of jerks. But just England sounds boring and dull. Maybe I should come up with a good nickname for my big brother. What do you think?"

"Squawk!" answered the bird.

"Oh course. I shouldn't rush a nickname. Most nicknames come by accident and sticks to a person. So, I shouldn't waste time thinking of a nickname."

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" said the seagull spreading his wings to fly off the railing of the country.

"Well I guess your going to leave me now and join your friends back up in the sky," Sealand said taking out a piece of bread he put in his pocket at lunch. "It sure was nice talking to you."

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" said the seagull folding its wings back against its body.

"Oh would you like to have some bread?" Sealand asked the bird as he torn his slice of bread apart into two pieces.

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" answered the seagull eyeing the two pieces of bread.

"I guess I can give you the other half. Will your friends get jealous if I give this to you?" Sealand asked looking at the other gulls circling around in the sky.

"Squawk!"

"Well if they come down here mad it's your fault. Got it?" Sealand asked as he set one of the pieces of the bread onto the railing for the bird to eat.

"Squawk!"

"Your friends better not get jealous. I don't have more bread for them to eat," Sealand said as the bird quickly ate the piece of bread.

"Squawk!" said the bird once it finished its slice of bread.

"No, you can't have my slice of bread. That's my snack. I was nice enough to give you half of it," Sealand explained to gull as the bird stared at Sealand's piece of bread.

"Squawk!" said the bird giving Sealand the biggest puppy dog eyes a bird could give.

"Don't look at me like that. This is my slice of bread not yours. You already had one," Sealand said turning his head away from the gull to resist the puppy dog eyes.

"Squawk!" said the seagull.

"I'm not going to turn my head and look at you. Those eyes aren't going to work on me. This is my slice of bread not yours," Sealand said as the bird flew to the side Sealand was looking towards.

"Squawk!" said the gull landing on that side of the railing.

"I already told you, this is my snack. If I don't eat something, I'll be so hungry when dinner comes. And I don't want to eat more of England's cooking then I have too."

The seagull either didn't understand or just didn't care for Sealand's explanation. It just kept looking at Sealand with those big puppy dog eyes. Those eyes where like giant blue saucers.

"Okay fine you win," Sealand sighed defeated. "You can have my other piece of bread."

"Squawk!" said the seagull happily as Sealand set the other piece of bread in front of him.

"If I get sick from eating too much of England's cooking at dinner it's your fault," Sealand said as the bird scarfed down like an America eating a hamburger.

"Squawk!" said the bird once the piece of bread disappeared.

"I told you that was my last piece."

"Squawk!"

"If you're not hungry then you should just join your friends back up in the sky."

"Squawk!"

"I don't have anymore food. Just join your friends back up in the sky. They probably miss you and want to fly around with you."

"Squawk!"

"Are you telling me that you are not friends with those other birds?"

The bird gave another puppy dog look as if it was saying, "yes" to the question.

"Oh my, I'm sorry that I assumed that you were friends with those other birds," Sealand apologized.

The bird squawked as if it was saying, "It's okay. You didn't know, and it doesn't bother me."

"Well, looks like we are finally in France," Sealand said once his country stopped moving. "Would you like to join me on my journey to delivery this basket?"

"Squawk!" said the gull as if it was saying, "Sure, I'd love too!"

"Cool. Once I make sure everything is ship shape on my country we'll go," Sealand explained turning away from the railing. "Would you like to help me?"

"Squawk!" said the bird.

"Cool. We have to walk around the country to make sure nothing is still running while I'm away. It would be really bad if something were to flood if I wasn't there to stop it," Sealand explained as the seagull followed him around the country.

"Squawk!" said the bird as it followed Sealand around the country.

The inspection didn't take that long since Sealand's home is very small. Once Sealand and the gull were done, they left the country and started on their path though the woods. Unaware of the strange country they would meet there.

**A/N**

**So, I gave Sealand a seagull friend. In the next chapter Sealand is going to name it. What should Sealand name his seagull friend? **

**E/N**

**I feel like this bird is going to be another Toto. Sigh. **


	3. Lumberjack

"Wow there sure are a lot of trees here," Sealand stated looking at the lovely forest surrounding the beach.

"Squawk!"

"I'm a little worried that this might not be the right woods," Sealand said as the bird followed him into the woods.

"Squawk?" asked the seagull landing on Sealand's shoulder.

"Well, it's just that there are way more trees in this woods then I pictured there to be," Sealand said. "Maybe I should check the map again."

"Squawk!" said the seagull as Sealand took a map out of his pocket.

"Okay, well I left the house here. Then I took my country across here. Now I should be on this part of the woods. But what if England drew the map-"

Sealand didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, because the seagull pulled the map out of his hands and took to the sky.

"Hey! That was my map!" Sealand screamed, dropping his basket to run after the bird. "Come back here you bird!"

The bird didn't care that Sealand was yelling at it. It wasn't going to give Sealand back its map. The seagull had gotten want it wanted, food and a souvenir to remember the boy he hustled food from. It's just a shame that Sealand's map had to be the souvenir.

"I was nice enough to give you my bread!" Sealand yelled as he ran back onto the beach. "Come back here! And give me back my map!"

"Squawk!" said the bird just to mock Sealand.

Unfortunately, the mocking squawk the bird did resulted in the map falling from its beak and into the ocean.

"No!" Sealand cried as he watched the map become drenched and start to break apart.

"Squawk!" cried the bird, disappointed from its loss of a souvenir from a good hustling job.

"This is all your fault! Bloody dumb bird!" Sealand yelled as the bird flew back to the other circling birds in the sky.

Sealand didn't see a point in going into the ocean to find the map. The map was probably made illegible right when it hit the water. There really wasn't any point in wasting time just to find a useless piece of paper. So, Sealand just sighed and walked back to the woods.

"I'm never going to feed seagulls again," Sealand mumbled to himself once he made it back to woods. "They just take, take, take, leaving me with nothing."

"Aren't you a little young to be complaining about a woman?" asked a very distinct voice.

"Who's there?" Sealand asked spinning around trying to locate the holder of the distinct voice. "I better not be getting one of those weird hallucinations England gets."

"Don't worry, I'm not some flying mint bunny. Or whatever it is that dude sees," America said emerging from the trees.

"Oh, Mr. America it's just you," Sealand sighed relived that he wasn't going insane. "Why are you holding a chainsaw?"

"Oh this thing?" America asked turning his chainsaw in a way that made it almost cut Sealand's face. "I was just doing some lumberjacking."

"Lumberjacking?" Sealand asked stepping away from the chainsaw.

"Yeah, you know when you chop down a tree and scream 'Timber!' while it's falling," America explained.

"Okay, but why aren't you 'lumberjacking' at your place?"

"Why are you wearing a red cape?" America asked completely ignoring the question.

"England gave it to me. He used to wear it when it when he was my age," Sealand answered.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha! Yeah that is totally something that dude would wear!" America laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sealand asked a little defensive.

"So what are you doing in the woods?" America asked ignoring Sealand's question.

"I'm supposed to deliver a basket to France for England," Sealand stated. "Oh bollocks! I set that basket down when I running after that bloody bird!"

"Bollocks? What's that mean?" America asked.

"I…I…Oh….Well…" Sealand stuttered a bit. England may curse a lot, but he may be cross with Sealand if America told him what he said. "It means cookies. It's a special kind of English cookie. I just had a sudden craving for one and accidentally said it out loud."

"Dude! I totally understand! Sometimes I want a burger and just can't help screaming out burger!"

"That's cool Mr. America, but I have to go get my basket before something happens to it. I would be in a lot of trouble if England found out I lost it."

"Dude, don't panic. I'll be your hero and help you find the basket."

"Thank you so much, Mr. America, I think that I was somewhere over here when I dropped it," Sealand said walking towards a tree that looked familiar.

"What's in the basket anyway?" America asked setting down his chainsaw to join Sealand in the search.

"I don't know, England doesn't want me to open it," Sealand said looking around the familiar looking tree.

"Hey I think I found it!" America cheered handing Sealand the basket he just picked up from the ground.

"Thank you so much Mr. America-"

"Dude! I think this basket just attracted this seagull," America said cutting Sealand off, as a seagull landed on top of the basket.

"Tell that bloody bird to scram. He already caused me enough trouble."

"Seriously short dude? It's just a little bird-"

"That little bird is evil!"

"Squawk!" said the bird turning to Sealand to give him puppy eyes.

"I think the bird likes you."

"Well, _I_ don't like _it_," Sealand said giving the bird a disgusted look.

"That's not very nice. I think you should let this little bird join you on your trip," America stated.

"Squawk!" said the bird in agreement.

"I can't do that! This stupid bird already took my map-"

"Do you need a map little dude?" America asked cutting Sealand off.

"A map would make things easier but this stupid bird had to-"

"Don't take it out on Bruce," America said putting a hand in his pocket.

"Bruce?" Sealand asked as America pulled out an iPhone.

"Yeah, Bruce. I thought the bird could use a name," America stated texting something on his iPhone.

"Why Bruce?"

"I don't know, cause I like Batman. Anyway, I pulled up Google maps for you," America said handing Sealand his iPhone.

"Oh," Sealand said looking at Google maps.

"Yeah, you can use that as your map," America stated. "Just give me back my iPhone when you and Bruce get back from the delivery."

"Thank you so very much Mr. America."

"If you need anything else just scream for help."

"I don't think I'll need to, but thanks anyway," Sealand said walking away.

"No problem, dude. Hope the delivery goes well!" America called out as Sealand and Bruce walked away.

**A/N**

**Well America gets to be the lumberjack guy. I thought America would fit the character pretty well. **

**Anyway, I found this in my old sophomore journal. Enjoy! **

**Three Wishes **

**By Carmen –insert last name here-**

**I was walking down the beach when I tripped over some driftwood and dropped my water bottle. I quickly stood back up and saw a little man. The little man started singing a song, that claimed he was a genie and he would grant me three wishes. A normal person would be all excited, but I was more disturbed with the fact that I was just drinking the water bottle he came out of. So I wished for him to go away, and never told anyone about this. **

**And that my friend is how my English journal entries became popular among teachers. **

**E/N**

**Oh Carmen…**


	4. Bird Poop

"Let's get one thing straight, bird," Sealand stated as Bruce landed on his shoulder, "I don't like you."

"Squawk!" said Bruce giving Sealand puppy eyes.

"Well that's not going to change my mind stupid bird," Sealand spat.

"Squawk!" said Bruce flying off Sealand's shoulder.

"Yeah! Go get lost you bloody bird!"

"Squawk!" said Bruce dumping some of the bread he had earlier onto America's iPhone.

"Bloody hell!" Sealand screamed in anger in response to his map being violated by bird poop.

"Squawk!" laughed Bruce landing back on Sealand's shoulder.

"Now you've done it bird!" Sealand yelled pushing Bruce. "America is going to kill me!"

"Squawk!"

"Yeah, you would find that funny stupid bird," Sealand spat. "You're just like England!"

"Now that's just being rude. You shouldn't compare England to everything that bothers you," said a new voice from the trees.

"Whose there?" Sealand asked nervously.

"Squawk?"

"Don't worry it's just me," Spain said emerging from the trees.

"Oh, Mr. Spain, it's just you," Sealand said relived. "I thought I was about to go crazy."

"What actually are you wearing?"

"Oh this red hood used to belong to England," Sealand said in a model pose. "He said he used to wear it when he was my age."

"No wonder it looks familiar," Spain mumbled.

"Huh?" Sealand asked unable to understand Spain's mumble.

"So where are you going with that basket anyway?"

"I'm off to deliver a basket to France for England," Sealand stated. "But Bruce here ruined my second map."

"Bruce?"

"The seagull."

"Why would name a seagull?" Spain asked. "And why would you try to take a seagull in as a pet?"

"Bruce is definitely never going to be my pet-"

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce said cutting Sealand off.

"Belt up!" Sealand yelled at Bruce before continuing. "Bruce is just here because Mr. America is making me travel with him."

"And you're following America's orders?"

"Well, I sort of owe Mr. America. He gave me his iPhone when the stupid gull dropped the map into the ocean," Sealand explained. "The least I could do was let Bruce travel with me, like he wanted."

"That's kind of amusing."

"The worst part about it is that Bruce took a dumping on America's iPhone," Sealand sighed holding out the iPhone for Spain to see.

"What did that bird eat?" Spain asked taking the iPhone from Sealand.

"I feed him some bread."

"Squawk!"

"That was probably a bad idea," Spain said turning the iPhone around in his hands. "You probably should have wiped the screen off before the poop dried."

"Huh?"

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" laughed Bruce.

"You should have cleaned the screen instead of yelling at your pet."

"Bruce is not my pet!"

"Squawk!" said Bruce in agreement.

"Do you need help getting to France's house?" Spain asked. "That's where you said you where going right?"

"A map to France's house would be nice. But I'm afraid Bruce will ruin it again."

"Who said anything about a map?" Spain asked. "I was going to offer to escort you to France's house."

"No, that's okay. I don't need an escort," Sealand stated. "I want to show England that I'm completely my own country."

"Oh?"

"Well if you could get me a map that would be make things easier for me."

"I think it might be a better idea if I escorted you," Spain insisted.

"Thanks for the offer, but I want to show England that I could be accepted as a country."

"Squawk!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. If you could get me a new map that would be very helpful."

"If I escorted you then you wouldn't need a map," Spain insisted again.

"Thanks again for the offer. But if England knew that I was escorted he wouldn't see me as country."

"I won't tell him that I escorted you," Spain said insisting.

"No it's okay. England would find out somehow," Sealand said. "He is, after all, close friends with America."

"Squawk!"

"I won't tell America that I escorted you."

"No really it's okay. I don't need an escort," Sealand said slightly disturbed by how instant Spain was being.

"Are you sure? France has a big home. You could get lost."

"I wouldn't get lost."

"And you're so little. It might be better if I escorted you," Spain insisted again. "I won't tell anybody that I escorted you."

Sealand said backing away slowly. "I am my own country."

"Squawk!" said Bruce landing on Sealand's shoulder.

"Just let me escort you," Spain said as Sealand, and Bruce, slowly moved a little farther from him.

"No thank you," Sealand said still backing up.

"Please let me escort you."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"Squawk!"

"No!" Sealand said a little too loud.

"I will escort you."

The creepiness in Spain's voice scared Sealand so badly that he started running away. At the moment Sealand didn't care that Spain had America's iPhone and that he didn't have a map. Sealand just wanted to get away before Spain did something creepy.

**A/N**

**Well, Spain gets to be the wolf. Nothing else I feel like writing here. **

**E/N**

…**.I'm scared. **

**Also, belt up is how English people say shut up. Funny, huh?**


	5. Trouble

Spain couldn't believe Sealand. What was wrong with that little micronation? Spain offered to escort him to France's house, and he rudely declined the offer saying that he was his own country and he could do it himself.

Bull crap. If Sealand could do it himself, then Spain never would have offered to escort him. Even when he ran off screaming he went in the wrong direction. This just proved that Sealand didn't know what he was doing.

If Sealand knew the way he wouldn't have ran into that French village. The fastest way to France's house is through the woods, along the outside of the village, and then boom France's house. Not through the time consuming French village.

What was Sealand thinking? He could get lost in the woods in this country or eaten by wolves. Worse, another stronger country could conquer him. Sealand is just too small to even think about going on an adventure by himself.

Sure, Sealand had a stupid bird named Bruce, but he was still pretty much by himself. Bruce can't escort Sealand if he gets lost, and Bruce can't say anything except "Squawk!" So, Bruce is pretty much useless, no help at all.

No, that's a little mean. Bruce might have a purpose, but so far Bruce just seems like a meaningless bird that keeps destroying Sealand's maps for no good reason. Didn't that micronation say that Bruce destroyed his second map?

Yeah, he did. Oh dear, Sealand really shouldn't be traveling by himself. He's just traveling with Bruce because America asked him too. What does America know anyway? Bruce seems as useless as that dumb dog in the Wizard of Oz.

America obviously doesn't know anything about travel companions. Telling Sealand to set aside his differences and travel with a freaking seagull was just stupid beyond belief. Why did America think that was a good idea?

No wait, why did Sealand even follow America's stupid orders? Sure, America replaced the map Sealand lost, but replacing a map doesn't mean that you should travel with a stupid bird that's going to ruin the map you just got!

Oh dear, Sealand is going to get himself killed, and it's all going to be America's and England's fault. If only Spain could do something to save the little micronation.

And why is England making Sealand wear that hideous red cape? Did England even think before handing Sealand that cape?

What was England thinking? Giving Sealand his old cape to wear while he delivered a basket to France is really idiotic. Does England even remember all the misfortunes that cape gave him?

Probably not, considering the fact that he just gave that cape to his baby brother to get him killed! Oh frack, what was England thinking? Sealand is going to be dead long before he reaches France's house and it's going to be all because of that stupid cape.

Poor Sealand. He's going to walk into so much trouble. If only Spain would have warned him about the dangers of the cape before he ran off.

Spain didn't warn Sealand about the cape because he didn't want to scare him. The history behind the cape is a very frightening tale; so frightening that Sealand would want to take off the cape and stomp on it on the ground. This might not sound that bad, but if Sealand took off the cape before performing the safety ritual he would be putting himself in more danger than by just wearing the cursed cape.

Poor Sealand, he is completely unaware of all the trouble he is going to get himself in. If only Spain would have warned him earlier.

Wait, maybe there was still time. Maybe Spain could still save Sealand. Spain could meet Sealand at France's big house and perform the safety ritual to allow Sealand to take off the cape. But, that would only work if Sealand didn't get himself killed before the safety ritual was performed.

If Sealand got killed before the safety ritual, then there's really not point in performing the safety ritual. Since, Sealand would be dead and nothing Spain or anyone else could do would be able to bring the micronation back. Neither dark magic nor modern day medicine would be enough bring back the dead.

Spain didn't want to think about how horrible that would be. Death of children always made Spain sad. So, Spain had to save Sealand before the cape destroyed him.

Hopefully, Sealand would still be alive when he makes it to France's house. Spain could take the faster way to France's house and met Sealand there.

Yes, this plan was as perfect as ice cream on a hot day. Spain will be able to save Sealand. It was so simple, and France probably still had the wolf fur coat in his closet.

The wolf fur coat was a very important piece of the safety ritual, and most likely France still had one from England's deadly days of wearing the cursed red hood. So, Spain had nothing to worry about. He just had to beat Sealand to France's house to put on the wolf fur coat.

"No te preocupes, little micronation," Spain said to himself before taking the shortcut to France's house, "I'll save you before you get yourself killed."

**A/N **

**Well, I didn't really want to make Spain the bad guy. So, I made him the misunderstood guy that appears to be the bad guy. I don't know, what do y'all guys think? **

**Oh and the Spanish Spain uses is "Don't worry". **

**E/N**

**Carmen sure loves to ramble. **


	6. Into the Village

"Squawk!"

"No, I'm not going to get another stupid map," Sealand spat as they walked into the little French village. "You'll probably destroy that one too."

"Squawk!" Bruce said landing on Sealand's shoulder.

"You can't ride my shoulder," Sealand stated pushing the seagull off. "You lost that privilege when you destroyed the second map."

"Squawk!" said Bruce landing on Sealand's other shoulder.

"That means this shoulder too," Sealand spat pushing the bird off.

"Squawk!" said Bruce landing on Sealand's head.

"Hey, get off my head!" Sealand yelled pushing the seagull off he again.

"Squawk!" said Bruce landing on the ground in front of Sealand.

"Stop giving me the puppy eyes!" Sealand yelled in response to Bruce's eyes.

For a little bit, Sealand just stared at the bird. And the bird just stared back at Sealand with those big puppy eyes. Nobody moved they just kept staring intensely at each other.

"Fine! You can ride on my shoulder! Just stop looking at me like that!" Sealand yelled giving up.

Bruce flew up and landed back on the shoulder Sealand first pushed him off of.

"Just don't take a dump on my shoulder," Sealand spat as Bruce nuzzled his face. "I'm still mad about what you did to America's iPhone."

"Squawk!" said Bruce still nuzzling Sealand's face.

"I still don't like you," Sealand stated. "Just don't talk to me for the rest of the trip."

"Squawk!"

"I said don't talk to me."

For the next few blocks the micronation and the seagull were completely silent. Neither a word nor squawk could be heard between the two. They both didn't want to say anything to the other.

The silence could have been a good thing. Those squawks were getting as annoying as a long line at the BMV. But, at the same time both of them needed to get something off their chest. The silence wasn't going to either of them the chance to say anything.

Well, they could always break the silence, but that's always awkward. It's awkward because the silence makes like a wall between them. And it's awkward because Bruce is a bird.

"Sealand, is that you?" asked a female voice breaking the awkward silence.

Sealand turned around to see whom the female voice belonged to. "Hello-"

"Oh goodness! It is you!" cheered Belgium running up to Sealand and cutting him off in the process. "Why do you have a bird shoulder? Are you taking after Iceland or Prussia?"

"This is-"

"No wait, they carry their pets on their heads," Belgium stated cutting Sealand off again.

"Bruce is not my pet!"

"Squawk!" agreed Bruce.

"His name is Bruce?" Belgium asked putting one hand on the bird's neck to stroke it.

"America named him," Sealand stated as Belgium stroked Bruce's neck.

"So, this is America's pet?" Belgium asked still stroking Bruce's neck.

"Squawk!"

"No," answered Sealand. "Well, I don't exactly know. I guess he could belong to America."

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce probably didn't want to belong to America.

"So, why are you watching him?" Belgium asked moving her hand away from Bruce's neck.

"I'm not watching him. I'm traveling with him," Sealand stated.

"Then why are you traveling with him?" Belgium asked slightly confused.

"America asked me to travel with him," Sealand answered.

"And you're actually listening to America?"

"Well, yeah, America sort of replaced my map after Bruce destroyed it," Sealand asked wondering why everybody keeps asking him that.

"Squawk!"

"So, America wants you to travel with the thing that destroyed your map?" Belgium asked confused.

"Squawk!"

"Well, my last map," Sealand corrected.

"Right. Was it a accident or something?"

"I don't think Bruce stealing it from me and dropping it in the sea was accident."

"Oh my, well then I guess it's a good thing America replaced your map."

"It would have been, if Bruce didn't destroy that map as well."

"Squawk!"

"He destroyed your replacement map?"

"He pooped on it!"

"Oh dear, do you need a new map?" Belgium asked putting her hand into her coat pocket. "Where actually are you going?"

"A new map would be nice. I'm going to deliver this gift basket to France for England," Sealand answered holding up the basket.

"I was wondering why you were carrying a basket," Belgium said taking out a paper from her coat pocket. "What actually is in it?"

"England said that I'm not allowed to open it," Sealand stated as Belgium wrote an address on her paper.

"That's understandable. They do, after all, have a very unique relationship," Belgium said handing Sealand the piece of paper.

"Huh?"

"That's France's address. His house is just a few more blocks down," Belgium stated ignoring the question. "It stands out a lot, so you should see it right away."

"Thanks," Sealand said as he began to walk away.

"Squawk!"

"Wait!" said Belgium stopping Sealand. "Why are you wearing a red hood?"

"Oh this thing?" Sealand asked, tugging at the hem.

"Yes."

"England gave it to me. He said it was his when he was my age!"

"No wonder it looks sort of familiar," Belgium said. "I think there's some story behind it, but I don't quiet remember it."

"Well, if you remember it let me know," Sealand said turning around to walk away again. "I'll love to hear it."

"I'll certainly tell you if I remember."

"Thanks, Belgium!" Sealand said walking away. "Thanks for writing the address down for me!"

**A/N**

**Well, this is the first time I ever used Belgium in a story.**

**Don't be shy about hitting the review button. **


	7. Another Paper Gone

"I thought Belgium said France's house was just a few blocks away," Sealand said looking puzzled at the paper Belgium had given him. "I think we've walked longer than the length of my country."

"Squawk!" If the bird could actually speak like a human, he would be reminding Sealand that everything is bigger than his home.

"Do you think we made a wrong turn?"

The bird didn't say anything in return. Bruce just looked at the micronation blankly, like a student looking at a confusing math problem.

"I don't know," Sealand stated looking at the bird. "I can't really read all these street signs."

"Squawk!"

"Well of course I can read!" Sealand exclaimed. "I just don't really know French. I can read English, Swedish, Finnish, and the back of my cereal boxes with my decoder ring. I just don't know enough French to actually read it."

"Squawk!"

"Well it's not like you can read anything. You're a bloody seagull!"

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" called Bruce flying off Sealand's shoulder.

The seagull snatched the paper, with the address on it, and flew off before Sealand could say anything to stop him.

"Hey! Stupid bird!" Sealand yelled angrily, running after the seagull. "Give me back the address!"

Of course, just a little micronation yelling wasn't going stop the seagull. Bruce was mad at Sealand for calling him "a bloody seagull" and he wanted to teach Sealand a lesson. Or maybe Bruce is just a stupid pointless bird that got bored and saw a pretty piece of paper. Whatever the reason, Bruce was making Sealand really mad.

"You're going to get me lost!" Sealand yelled following the seagull around a corner.

Sealand is stupid. He should have just let Bruce go and found the house without the address. Chasing after a seagull is just going to get him lost. And most likely, chasing Bruce is just encouraging the bird to torture Sealand more.

"Get back here! That's the third thing you stole from me! Stupid bird!" the micronation yelled running around another corner.

Sealand really is going to get lost. This town has several of turns and corners. Chasing after a stupid seagull, which doesn't fit in the little French village setting, is just stupid.

"Bruce! Stop flying away!" Sealand yelled stopping to catch his breath. Chasing and yelling after a flying animal really takes the energy out of a person.

Bruce then flew to the ground and set the paper on ground right in front of Sealand. "Squawk!"

"Thank you," Sealand said reaching, to pick up the piece of paper.

Unfortunately, before Sealand's hand even touched the paper a random dog ran by and grabbed the paper in its mouth.

"What the…. Hey! That's my paper!" Sealand yelled watching the dog devour the piece of paper.

"Squawk!"

Once the dog was finished with the paper it ran off to wherever it had come from. This just made Sealand and Bruce just stare in amazement wondering where that random dog came from. Thank goodness, the dog just ate the paper and not whatever is in the gift basket Sealand is holding.

"Well, I guess we better go retrace our steps," Sealand said after the moment of awkward silence had passed.

"Squawk!" agreed Bruce landing on Sealand's shoulder again.

"It's a shame that we don't have Google maps," Sealand said as they walked along.

"Squawk!"

"Well we had Google maps, but you ruined America's iPhone remember," Sealand said before pausing. "Shite! We left America's iPhone with Spain!"

"Squawk?"

"This is bad. This is very bad. I completely forgot that we left that with Spain. Oh dear, how is America going to get it back now?" Sealand asked worried. "America is going to murder me for the sake of justice!"

Bruce didn't say anything this time. He just nuzzled Sealand's face to help calm him down. This was probably a dumb idea, because it wasn't working.

"America is going to be mad! This is bad. This is bad. This is very bad. Do you know what they do to people that do bad things in Texas? AWFUL THINGS!"

Sealand really shouldn't be worrying about America's iPhone. America probably had multiple ones for every generation. And America probably already forgot that he gave one of them to Sealand. Sealand really needs to be focusing on how to find France's house.

"Squawk!" Bruce said as he quit nuzzling Sealand's face.

"This is really bad. If I'm dead I can't be a country!"

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce said trying to get Sealand to stop freaking out.

Or maybe Bruce was just bored. After all, Bruce is a pointless bird character. He could just be bored and likes to hear the sound of his own squawks.

"I don't want to be dead! I want-" Sealand was cut off by Bruce biting his cheek.

"Squawk!"

"Hey! Why did you do that?" Sealand asked putting a hand to his cheek. Thank goodness, there wasn't any blood.

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce was probably saying, "To shut you up."

"You shouldn't have bit me," Sealand explained looking at the bird. "That could have left a scar."

"Squawk!"

"You're right I shouldn't be worrying about my face. I should be worrying about what I should do when I'm dead-" Sealand was cut off again by Bruce biting his cheek.

"Squawk!"

"Why did you bite me again?"

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce was probably saying "Cause you're not focusing on what's really important here."

"Whatever, let's just try to find France's house."

**A/N**

**And the running gag is the map always getting destroyed. Next chapter will be on Spain. **

**Don't forget that your feedback is valuable! Hit the review button! **

**E/N**

**Reviews take 30 seconds but they make my entire day!**


	8. Beauty Sleep

"France! Where are you? We have a big problem!" Spain yelled banging on France's front door. "France! Open the door! It's a big problem!"

Somewhere inside the showy big house France swore to himself. Why can't he just get his beauty sleep without any interruptions? And he was pretty sure that Spain knew how to get though the back door.

"France! It's an emergency! You need to open the door!" Spain yelled again.

What emergency could possibly be more important than beauty sleep? Beauty was the most important thing in the world. So what possibly could more important than that?

"I know you're home, France!" Spain yelled, adding the obnoxious doorbell to the clamor. "Open the door! It's a big emergency!"

Geez, why did he have to start ringing the stupid doorbell? That ringing noise is completely annoying and nobody could possibly sleep through that. Why doesn't Spain just go away and come back when he's not sleeping. Or how about he never comes back. Yes, never sounds good.

"Please, France! It's a huge problem!"

"I'm not home!" France yelled back. Spain needs to just go away. Sleep, especially beauty sleep, is very important.

"Good you're home! Open this door already!"

"C'est un mensonge!"

"Vamos, France, I know you're home! Let me in already!"

"No! I'm not home!"

"This is ridículo! Just open the door! It's a big emergency!"

"Je dors!"

"Despierta! It's a big emergency!"

"Sleep is more important!"

"Not right now! It's a big emergency England-"

"Angleterre!" France yelled, cutting Spain off, and running to the door. "Why didn't you say so earlier? Is he alright?"

"He's fine. Just open-" Spain was cut off by France opening the door.

"What's going on? What's wrong with England?"

"Inglaterra is fine. It's Sealand that's not," Spain explained entering France's house.

"What's wrong with Sealand?" France asked. "And are you sure England's okay?"

"France, do you remember that rojo cape England used to wear?"

"That cursed rouge piece of disaster? Did Angletterre get drunk and put it on or something?"

"England's not wearing the cape-"

"Then we don't have anything to worry about here," France interrupted. "Thank goodness, Angletterre didn't put that cursed thing back on-"

"France, England gave the cape to Sealand. And Sealand is now wearing-"

"We don't have anything to worry about here," France repeated cutting Spain off again.

"Sealand, is cursed now! Because he is wearing the rojo cape!"

"Ce n'est pas un problem," France stated. "I think I'll go return to my beauty sleep now."

"Cómo no se que es un problema?" Spain asked. "Sealand is going to-"

"Sealand is just a little micronation. He doesn't matter. And he isn't important enough to ruin my beauty sleep," France stated turning to walk back to his bedroom.

"France!" Spain grabbed France's arm. "We can't just leave Sealand."

"I don't care," France spat pulling his arm back.

"But he might die!" Spain yelled as France started his way back up the stairs.

"Whatever, I doubt anybody would notice he's gone," France stated as he walked up the stairs.

"We can't just leave him to die!" Spain screeched following France up the stairs.

"I don't care. I'm going to go back to sleep and hopefully when I wake up everything will be fine."

"You can't just go to sleep while this emergency is going on!"

"Oui je peux! I think you should go home," France said as they made it to the top of the stairs.

"I can't just leave Sealand to die!"

"Well, I can. And I suggest you go back home and get some sleep yourself," France suggested. "Let England and Sealand deal with their own problem."

"I don't think they know how cursed the cape really is," Spain said. "Well, you would think that England would have remembered…"

"Yeah, well Angleterre is sort of an idiot," France said slightly nervous.

"He must be. Didn't you tell him about the cape being cursed every time you had to perform the safety ritual?"

France never told England that his cape was cursed. He liked performing the safety ritual every time England stupidly put the cape back on. If he would have told him that the cape was cursed he would've stopped wearing it and that meant no more safety rituals.

"I did," France lied after a small nervous pause.

"Extraño, well do you at least still have the wolf fur coat?"

"It's lost somewhere in my house, and I don't see the point in looking for it when I need my beauty sleep."

"France! This is a matter of life and death! I think your sleep can wait," Spain said. "We need to find that wolf fur coat."

"And I need my beauty sleep."

"How could you be so heartless?"

"I'm not heartless," France spat opening his bedroom door. "And I think you should leave now."

"We just need to find that wolf fur coat!" Spain yelled as France slammed his bedroom door leaving Spain in the hallway.

**A/N**

**France is just cranky when he wakes up. **

**And the words of French are-**

**c'est un mensonge – that's a lie**

**je dors – I'm sleeping**

**Angleterre – England**

**Rouge – red**

**Ce n'est pas un problem – that's not a problem **

**Oui je peux! – yes I can!**

**And the words of Spanish are- **

**Vamos – Let's go**

**Ridículo – ridiculous **

**Despierta – wake up **

**Inglaterra – England **

**Rojo – red**

**Cómo no se que es un problema? – How is that not a problem? **

**Extraño – strange **

**Remember y'all, your feedback is important so don't be shy about hitting that pretty review button. **

**E/N**

**Apparently, to Carmen, all of the nations know each other's languages. **


	9. The River

"Didn't England say something about a river?" Sealand asked as he and Bruce approached a long running stream.

The seagull tilted his head to look up at the miconation.

"Oh, that's right," the small country corrected himself, "you weren't there."

"Squawk?"

"Well, I don't know why you weren't there," Sealand sighed. "Do you think we should follow this river?"

The bird looked at him questionably. How would Bruce know? He's just a stupid seagull that instigated the destruction of every map, phone, or address Sealand was given.

"Well, I'm pretty sure England said something about following a river to France's house." Sealand stared at the river. "But, Belgium said France's house was just a few blocks away, and didn't mention anything about a river."

"Squawk?"

"I don't know. Should we follow this river or not?" Sealand set the basket on the ground and sat down. "England said that there would be a river."

Bruce flew off his shoulder, and joined Sealand in sitting on the ground.

Sealand picked up a rock. "I'm just not sure," Sealand said examining the rock. "We could end up more lost than we already are."

The bird looked at him questionably again. Bruce didn't know what was going on, or why the micronation randomly decided to stop moving. Or why Sealand was examining a stupid rock. He was just a pointless bird that couldn't comprehend anything.

Sealand threw his rock into the river. "Well, what do we got to lose? We're already extremely lost already. I doubt that we could get more lost."

"Squawk?"

"Yeah, you're right we still need to delivery the stupid gift basket." Sealand picked up another rock. "So, I guess I shouldn't be saying 'what do we got to lose"."

Sealand threw the new rock into the river. The rock skipped three times before it sunk and disappeared into the stream. Sealand sighed and picked up another rock.

"I really don't know, Bruce." The small country tossed the new rock. It skipped four times before it sunk. "Should we risk becoming more lost? Or should we just give up?"

"Squawk!" The seagull left the ground and landed back on the micronation's shoulder.

"You're right!" Sealand stood up from the ground.

The bird tilted his head to look at the micronation's face with uncertainly. He wasn't sure what the small country was claiming he was right about.

"Giving up doesn't get me recognized as a country." Sealand picked back up the basket he needs to deliver. "If I want to be a country I got to take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!"

"Squawk!" Bruce said in agreement. Well, it could be thought of as agreement. Bruce is just a bird that really doesn't know what's going on.

"We shall follow this stream!" The small country pointed to the river. "And it shall take us to France's house! There we shall delivery whatever this is supposed to be!" Sealand lifted the basket higher, to add effect to his motivation speech. "And then I shall be recognized as a country!"

Bruce just looked at him with a dumb expression. Sealand began walking along the stream. His pace was slightly faster than it was when he was walking through the village.

"Isn't this great, Bruce," Sealand whispered to the bird on his shoulder. The micronation was whispering, because it seemed like a good thing to do after he gave a dramatic speech. "I'm going to be recognized as a country!" he squealed whispering.

Bruce just looked at him weird. The seagull was still not sure what was going on.

"I've been dreaming of this my whole life."

"Squawk?"

"Okay, I might have had a few horrible nightmares about a pizza cutter chasing me through this box factory that makes purple and pink boxes to hold refrigerators," Sealand corrected himself. "But other than that, I've been dreaming of becoming a country my whole life."

The bird just gave him the same dumb expression. Sealand was weird. Who has a recurring dream of being chased in a box factory, anyway?

"I really can't wait until we make it to France's house. Do you think France will open the basket at the door, and let me see what it is?" the small nation asked the bird. "I really want to know what the England is giving France."

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce flew off Sealand's shoulder and landed on the basket he was caring.

"I can't open it," Sealand protested. "England told me not to. If I opened it France will be able to tell, and he will tell England that I broke the rule. And then I won't be recognized as the country I deserve to be recognized as!"

"Squawk!"

The micronation sighed. "Trust me, Bruce, France has a keen eye for design. He was able to tell that I opened my Birthday present early a few years ago."

"Squawk?" Bruce left his spot on the basket and landed back on Sealand's shoulder.

"Well, I didn't make it that obvious looking. I found the wrapping paper he used and rewrapped it. He just noticed that I put the tape on the wrong side."

"Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!"

"Well, I don't know if France has seen this basket before or not. I guess he won't notice if I opened it." Sealand shrugged. "No wait, that's a bad idea! If France has seen the basket before, I won't be able to be recognized as a country."

Bruce just stared at him. The bird was slightly wondering if there was food in that basket. The seagull was always hungry, and any type food (except walnuts) would be really good right now.

Sealand sighed. "I'm sorry, Bruce, its just too risky. I'm really curious too, but it's just not worth it if it'll cost me becoming a country."

Bruce gave him the puppy dog eyes. The pointless seagull really wanted to know if there was food in that basket. Food would be awesome. Bruce would eat anything that wasn't a walnut.

"Well, maybe I could give it a little peek." Sealand up his hand on top of the basket. "I don't think he would notice if I-"

The micronation cut himself off. Up ahead, in plain sight, was the showiest house he had every seen. It had flowers and lights all over it. It was like the house was saying, "Look at me and gaze upon my beauty! I am the house that puts all the other houses to shame!"

"France's house!" Sealand cried moving his hand away from the basket. "That was the right stream! We made it!"

And with that the little micronation, and the stupid pointless seagull began running towards the house.

**A/N**

**It's been awhile since I've updated this story. Sorry. I'll try to finish this whole thing before Lent starts. Since I'm giving up the Internet for Lent. **

**And yes, there was a **_**Magic School Bus**_** reference in there. **

**Please, point out any grammar mistakes. **


	10. A Stupid Plan

The wolf fur wasn't in the closet by the opening doorway, or in any of the bathroom cabinets, or anywhere in the kitchen pantry. Spain was about to seek past sleeping France's room to get to the attic to continue his search, but the doorbell rang.

In a nearby bedroom France groaned. "Is it just annoy the Frenchman day, or something?"

Not good. France was about to be awake, and find Spain still in his house. France thought Spain went home, and he would be very angry to find that he was sneaking around his house looking for a stupid old coat. An angry Frenchman was almost as bad a horny Frenchman.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" France said as the doorbell rang again.

Seriously, not good. That constant ringing of the doorbell had to be coming from Sealand. Only a child, or America, would keep banging the doorbell as if it would make somebody come to the door faster.

"This better not be Spain again," France mumbled to himself opening the door to leave his bedroom.

Spain panicked. In less than a second, a very grumpy France will find him in the hallway. Spain picked up the potted plant, which was so fashionably sitting on the hallway table. He needed to act really fast, and a fashionable piece of decoration was the only type of weapon this hallway had to offer.

"Spain?" France asked, once the door was open wide enough to see into the hallway. "What are you doing in my hallway? I thought I told-"

Spain hurled the potted plant at France before he could finish. The vase, the plant was in, broke on France's face on impact. "Sorry, amigo, but a little micronation is in desperate need of my help," Spain said crouching down next to the body. "I'll clean up the mess your plant left, after Sealand is taken care of."

After he promised to clean up the mess, he dragged the unconscious body back into France's room. That's where he noticed the bedroom closet. A bedroom closet would be a better place to hide a nearly lifeless body. Spain smiled to himself, and placed France's unconscious body inside the closet.

"It won't be long, amigo," Spain insured closing the door of the closet. Then before the door closed all the way, he reopened it. A box labeled, "Angleterre", had caught his attention. "Seriously," Spain whispered to himself pulling the box out of the closet.

Once the box was out of the closet, Spain opened it. Inside was a few letters, which Spain felt that he had no business reading, and the wolf fur coat. Spain couldn't believe that the coat was in France's closet the whole time.

"I think you lied to me," Spain said to France's unconscious body. "You knew where this coat was the entire time." Spain then quickly put the fur coat on. Once the coat was on he reclosed the closet door, and left the bedroom.

"Showtime," Spain whispered to himself as he walked down the stairs of France's house.

Outside France's mansion a very cheerful micronation was chatting joyfully with his pet bird.

"For my recognition party," Sealand told the bird, "I think I'll serve some of those little sausages on sticks."

"Squawk?" Bruce asked. The stupid seagull was confused as to why Sealand was planning a party.

"Well, food just tasted better on a stick," Sealand stated, unsure to what Bruce was really squawking about. "That's how I manage to eat England's cooking."

Bruce just looked at him confused.

"I learned the stick thing when America took me to a county fair in Kentucky. The corndog I had there was the best food I ever tasted," Sealand said hitting the doorbell, for the something hundred time he'd been standing in the doorway. "When I got back home, I asked England to make it for me. He was mad that I liked something an American made more than his cooking. But for some reason he still agreed to make me a corndog. Anyway, that's how I learned that I don't like corndogs. I just like food that's on a stick."

"Squawk!" Bruce gave him another weird look.

Sealand laughed and hit the doorbell again. "Okay, so maybe England just failed at making me a corndog. Either way, that experience taught me that food always tastes better when you eat it off a stick."

"Squawk!" Bruce said for no reason whatsoever as Sealand continued to hit the doorbell.

"Why isn't France here yet?" Sealand asked. "Didn't he yell that he was coming?"

On the other side of the door, Spain was looking around France's house. Even though he found the wolf fur coat, he didn't want to face Sealand. He was terrified that he would scare Sealand and make him run away if he opened the door. This was very plausible, considering the fact that he already scared Sealand once today.

"France! Are you home?" Sealand yelled ringing the doorbell. "I heard you yell that you were coming!"

This wasn't good. Sealand was expecting France to unlock the door, but France unconscious locked in a closet upstairs. Spain should have come up with a plan before he knocked France out with that potted plant.

"Where are you, France?" Sealand called still ringing the doorbell. "I have this basket England wants me to give to you!"

Not good. If Spain opened the door wearing this eerie looking wolf coat, Sealand would panic and run away before the safety ritual could be performed. Spain really needed a plan.

"Why is it taking so long?"

"Squawk!"

Great, now the micronation and the bird where both getting impatient. This wasn't good. Finally, a crazy plan came to him. It probably won't work, but it would at least buy him some time.

"Oh hon hon hon," Spain laughed to himself trying to get the laugh just right. He still sounded like himself, but it was good enough to make Sealand think it was France.

"What are you laughing about, France?" Sealand called from the other side of the door as Spain quickly ran back upstairs.

Perfect, Sealand believed that Spain was France. Pleased with himself, Spain quickly ran back upstairs to France's bedroom.

"The door's unlocked. Come in!" Spain called, in his best French accent, once he made it back to France's room. "Ma chérie!" he added for the heck of being in character.

Outside the micronation laughed. "I guess I should have realized that the door was unlocked," he told Bruce as he opened the door. "It's sort of amusing, that I didn't try that."

"Squawk!" Bruce didn't seem to care.

"Where are you?" Sealand asked as he and Bruce walked inside.

"Upstairs!" Spain called in his best French accent.

The micronation and the seagull walked upstairs, unaware of the impersonator they would find up there.

**A/N **

**Sad face. I didn't finish this before Lent. On the bright side, I'm finishing this. It's just late. Sorry. **

**ma chérie – sweetie **

**There's a pleasant thing called a review. Under this story is a button for it. Hit it and say "hi" or something. **


	11. Almost Over

Sealand couldn't help but grin. These stairs he was climbing was almost too fitting. Once he got to the top of the stairs, and gave England's gift basket to France he would be forever recognized as a nation. The fact that the last steps in becoming a nation were just walking up some steps made Sealand smile, like a child at Christmas.

"Can you believe it, Bruce?" Sealand asked his companion bird walked up all the stairs to the second story of France's house. "As soon as I give this basket to France I'll be recognized as a nation!"

Sealand's companion bird just turned his head in confusion. Bruce was still just a pointless animal that really had no point in this story. The writer just keeps him around because the word "squawk" is hilarious to her.

"I can't wait!" Sealand squealed in excitement. "Once this basket is in France's hands, I'll be a recognized nation. And that means that I can go to world meetings, bachelor parties, and be trusted to know who's having a surprise party."

"Squawk!" Bruce said in what could be considered agreement.

While Sealand and Bruce were having this stupid conversation, as they walked up the stairs, Spain was mentally preparing himself for the big moment. In just a few moments the micronation will make it to the top of the stairs, yell something to inform France that he made it to the top of the stairs, and then be startled when he finds Spain in the room he was directed to. If Spain wanted Sealand to be saved from the horrors of the red cape, then his plan needed to not fail.

"France, I made it to the top of the stairs!" Sealand informed once he made it to the top of the stairs. "Where are you?"

Spain took a deep breath. He wasn't ready for this yet. But, there's no time like the present, and if he waited the micronation would get suspicious. "In my bedroom!" he answered in his imitation of France's voice. "I just woke up, and I'm not quite ready to leave my bed yet."

"Okay!" This answer was questionable to Sealand. Earlier France yelled that he was coming down the stairs, and now he's saying that he hadn't got out of bed to start the day yet. Unfortunately, Sealand's head was so filled with happy thoughts, of being recognized as a nation, that he didn't think to question anything France was saying.

"Squawk!" Bruce said for the writer's entertainment.

"Oh, France!" Sealand said standing outside Franc's bedroom door. "I have a bird with me. Is Bruce allowed in your room?" The micronation only asked this, because he didn't want anything ruining his chances of becoming a recognized nation. And France could have some sort of no bird poop on the bed rule.

Spain sighed. He thought Sealand would have found him a second ago. He was almost happy that Sealand paused to ask about his bird, before entering the bedroom. "No, he's fine! Come in!"

Sealand opened France's bedroom door. "I carried this gift basket quite a long way, but I finally-" The micronation cut himself off. "Spain-"

"Hello, Sealand," Spain said confidently hiding his nervousness, "we never finished the conversation we had earlier."

"What are you wearing? Where's France?" Sealand asked scared as Bruce landed protectively on his shoulder.

Spain smiled happy that Sealand wasn't running away. "Oh hon hon hon!"

Sealand gasped with his eyes going wide. "You've been pertaining to be France this whole time?"

"Not this whole time," Spain corrected. "France is currently locked in a closet. A literal closet not a..." Spain paused. Sealand was too young to understand what the term closet meant. "Anyway, France will be away until he awakes-"

Sealand cut him off. "You're trying to ruin my chances of becoming a recognized nation!"

"Delivering a basket doesn't get you recognized as a nation, amigo." Spain frowned. "I'm here to-"

"Lies!" Sealand cried as Spain got off the bed and walked towards him. "You never wanted me to become a nation!"

"Silencio!" Spain ordered putting his hands over Sealand's mouth to silence him, which made Sealand drop the gift basket to the floor. "Once I finish talking, I'll take my hands off your mouth," he promised.

This promise wasn't good enough for the seagull, because once Spain said this Bruce started pecking at his hands in an attempt to help Sealand. "Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!" Bruce said in between pecks.

"Stop it bird!" Spain ordered. "I just want to talk to Sealand."

Bruce didn't care what Spain said. He was holding back his friend, and that wasn't good. "Squawk!" Bruce squawked pecking Spain again.

"I didn't want to do this." Spain swatted the seagull to the ground. "Sorry, gaviota, but pecking me was doing your friend more harm."

Sealand made a muffed sound. The moment the seagull hit the floor he started to feel some sort of stabbing feeling in his stomach.

"I didn't want to scare you with this, but the cape England gave you is cursed..."The sound of something falling downstairs made Spain pause for a second. He shrugged then continued. "If the safety ritual isn't performed you will-"

"Dude, France!" a very enthusiastic voice yelled downstairs. "I hope you have good insurance, 'cause I just learned why you shouldn't use a chainsaw to knock on somebody's door!"

What the hell is America doing here? Never mind, Spain now had to act faster if he wanted to safe the young micronation. "If I don't perform this safety ritual, then you'll die."

Sealand made a noise that sounded like he was now experiencing pains of death. His stomach was feeling like a knife was trying to poke its way through. Why did these pains start coming as soon as Bruce hit the ground?

"Sorry, dude, but I think I just took out half your stair case!" America yelled somewhere outside the room.

Spain ignored America. If he let that idiot bother him, the safety ritual would never be performed. "I'm just surprised that the you haven't perished yet. Normally, the red cape-"

"What the hell is going on here?" America asked joining them in the room with his chainsaw in hand. "What's with the crazy getups?" His face went into an expression of horror. "Oh my gosh, this is one of those-"

"America, it isn't what it look like! Sealand is -"

America punched him before Spain could finish justifying himself. As Spain fell unconscious to the floor, Sealand was set free from his grasp.

"Bruce!" Sealand cried picking up his pet bird. That's right, he's considered a pet to Sealand now. Once the bird was in his hands Sealand's feelings of death pains disappeared. "My pains are gone!"

"Squawk!" said Bruce coming back from lifelessness, like a Hallmark miracle.

"Was Spain causing you pain?" America asked picking up Spain's body with one hand, since the other hand was holding a chainsaw. "Cause if he was, I don't mind putting him to justice."

"No," Sealand answered stopping America from snapping Spain's body or letting it collide with the chainsaw in his other hand. "It was the cape I'm wearing."

"That makes no sense." America dropped the body anyway.

"Spain wasn't trying to do anything bad to me," Sealand said. "The red cape England gave me was going to kill me, and Spain just wanted to save me. But-" Sealand looked at his pet bird. "Bruce was somehow keeping the cape from killing me the entire time."

"I'm still confused," America said setting his chainsaw aside. "Want to go and get some food? It'll be my treat."

"Just first let me take off my cape." Sealand untied the knot holding the cape around his neck, letting the cape fall to the ground. If Bruce weren't with him then the cape would have killed Sealand at that moment. "Can we go to a place that serves food for seagulls too?"

"Squawk!" Bruce said happy to finally be seen as more than a stupid bird.

"That would be any place that has bread!" America laughed and then opened the bedroom door to leave.

"I guess that's anywhere!" Sealand laughed too. "Well, not England's house. He might make bread, but the everything past the appetizer will be terrible."

Before leaving Sealand set France's gift basket on his bed, and left a note explaining why Spain was unconscious in his bedroom, and why most of the downstairs looked like some wild party happened. He mentioned in the note that America will be willing to pay for the damages he caused downstairs with his chainsaw. France would have his gift basket when he came back from whatever closet Spain put him in.

This experience might have not made Sealand a recognized country, but it gave him a free dinner better than anything England could make, and it earned him a friend that was worth having. Bruce was certainly more that just a stupid bird.

**A/N**

**Well, this is almost over. As you can tell the tone got less and less serious as the story progressed. Things will certainly be awkward when France and Spain wake up. **

**Oh, and Sealand had no idea where France was. So, yeah... he's still locked in his bedroom closet. Don't worry the next chapter is him getting out. **

**What do you think was in the gift basket? **

**Silencio! – Be Silent! **

**Gaviota – Seagull **


	12. The End

France woke up with a throbbing pain in his head. Where was he? This room was much too small, and much too dark, to be his bedroom.

Confused the Frenchman sat up. Something fluffy touched his face. He sighed and pushed it out of the way. As he did this, a rusty noise was heard, as if something above him was sliding on a pipe. This made him even more confused as to wear he was.

He stood up, but his head hit something hard. Was that a wall there? No, a wall wouldn't be that far to the ground, so that makes no sense. He backed away from the low wall, and stood up again. This time all sorts of different fabric surrounded his head. Was he in some sort of fabric shop for midgets? No, that didn't make sense either.

Finally, France noticed a small amount of light. That's when he realized that he was standing behind a door. He moved to the area above the small rectangle of light, and felt around with his hands until he found the doorknob.

He found it. When he turned the knob the door opened. Which was very fortunate, because being locked in some unknown small room would just be unfortunate. Once outside the room, France realized that he just entered his bedroom, and the short wall he hit his head on was a shelf, and the fluffy thing touching his face was on for his many coats, the rustic noise was the hanger on the pipe when he pushed the coat out of his face, and that other fabrics that touched his face were just some of his other clothes.

But, how did he end up in his pasted out in his closet? France scratched his head as he pondered this. Then he noticed that his bedroom wasn't in the proper order he normally leaves it in. Was somebody or multiple somebodies in his house earlier?

"Spain?" France asked noticing his friend unconscious on the floor. "Was there some sort of wild-"

He cut himself off when he noticed the gift basket on his bed. That most certainly wasn't there before. He when to his bed and picked up the note so perfectly placed on top of the gift basket.

"_Dear France_," France read out loud. "_This is the gift basket England asked me to deliver to you. As you can tell, it made it to you. However, the journey it took to get it here was very educational. Do you recall England ever wearing a red cape?_"

France paused in his reading for a second. Now he remembered what happened before he blacked out. Spain had come over asking about the wolf fur coat, the only thing that can save somebody if they mistakenly put on the red cape. France told him to go away, and let him sleep. Then his doorbell went off, and as he left his room to go answer the doorbell, he met Spain in the hallway, and then everything went black.

France turned to the unconscious nation lying on his floor. "So, if you saved Sealand, why are you laying lifeless on my floor?"

Unable to come up with an answer himself, France returned to reading the letter. "_Well, England unfortunately gave it to me. I don't think his intentions were bad, for this cape is a lovely bright shade of red which can be very helpful in crossing a busy street, I think he just didn't know or had forgotten about the horrors of the cape." _

France gave a nervous laugh. England not knowing was his entire fault. If he had told England that it was cursed, none of this would have happened.

He returned to the letter. "_Anyway, Spain tried to warn me, but I ran away. He was being creepy, and I've been told to run from creepy people. When I made it to your place to deliver the basket I found him waiting for me in your room. He threw my new pet bird to the ground and covered my mouth with his hands. The moment my bird hit the ground I felt a stabbing pain." _

France frowned. Pet bird? Since when did Sealand have a pet bird?

"_As Spain talked the pain increased. Then out of nowhere America came and punched Spain. That's why Spain is knocked out on your floor. If he isn't, then he got up before you read this. Anyway, the safety ritual of the cape wasn't needed because my pet bird somehow kept the cape from harming me all this time." _

What was this pet bird?

"_I took off the cape. I plan to tie it too a heavy rock and throw it into the sea." _

France sighed. It might be for the best, but now France would never get to perform a safety ritual if England somehow mistakenly put the cape on. Whatever, grown men don't wear capes anyway.

"_Enjoy whatever England put in your gift basket. I never looked inside the basket, so I don't know what he is giving you. Love, Sealand. P.S. If you call America he will be willing to pay for all the damages caused downstairs,"_ France said aloud reading the last part of the letter.

Damages downstairs? Did Spain and America have a brawl or something? Sealand didn't mention anything like that in his letter.

France sighed and left his room. "Merde!" he cried noticing all the damages downstairs. Did America have fun with a chainsaw or something? All this damage was just ridiculous. Most of the stairs were gone, and his front door was lying on the floor cut in two pieces.

France would give America a rude phone call later, right now he was curious about what England was giving him a gift basket. He returned to his room, went to his bed, and opened his gift basket.

"You've outdone yourself, Angleterre," France said smiling pulling out the contents of the basket. At the bottom of the basket there was a note.

France laughed when he opened it. "_Enjoy all the wine you left. Love, England." _The fact that England wrote "Love, England" made France laugh like a little junior high schoolgirl.

England certainly was a funny person. France would write a thank you letter later. This letter would inform England that he never left wine at his house, and that England was actually giving him a gift. But, this letter would have to wait until after Spain woke up.

Spain's heart was in the right place; he was just too creepy which made him seen as the bad guy. France will help his friend regain consciousness, because he really should have just helped him earlier.

**A/N**

**The chapter before this was going to be the ending. But, I felt that you guys would be cheated if you didn't get to know what was in the basket. And, I didn't like ending this story with eleven chapters. **

**The End. **


End file.
